(Sorry, because of the very personal nature of the LSP, no photos are available for the public.)
It has been a while since I’ve posted on my blog, but there has been a lot to process and the New Year presents new opportunities. The gift of working with others using the LSP is that I’ve rediscovered some things about myself and reclaimed some of my own creative juice. More on that after a bit of background…
These past six months I’ve written a workbook for the Life Spiral Process™ to support the work I’m doing with individual clients and small groups. The first draft of the workbook was completed in early September in time for the start of a “beta LSP group” of women who were willing to give me feedback as they used the workbook over the course of twelve weeks. (“Beta” is a technology term for “test group”.) They read about the concepts of the LSP with examples from my own life and they used the exercises and tasks in the workbook to help them complete some of the “homework” required between sessions. Between sessions we had individual conference calls to clarify any questions or concerns of each participant.
Our bi-weekly group sessions lasted about three hours and were focused on sharing with each other our life events and our Life Spirals as they were unfolding. Being a witness to other participants’ Life Spiral and stories was as powerful as sharing our own stories. We learn so much from each other through sharing and witnessing. While each person’s life journey is unique, there are some points of similarity, too. Women in particular often tell me that after years of tending to other people’s needs or interests, middle-age feels a bit confusing because it is hard to know who the core self is. This is a wonderful re-discovery that can occur through the LSP and is an honor to facilitate and witness!
In the beta group participants were encouraged to share as much as was comfortable chronologically, but in some cases that didn’t seem to be the best approach, so flexibility was needed in my facilitation. Participants used the workbook as a guide, but sometimes their own guidance trumped whatever my workbook offered. During each of our bi-weekly sessions, we set our intentions (or asked for clarity)for our experience together through a time of selecting supportive cards, reflective writing, and meditation. What was always astounding (and moving) was how participants received exactly the message(s) that they felt they needed. Because the LSP is an intensive process requiring commitment and willingness to look deeply, setting intentions was important to feeling supported and on-track.
Even though it has been over six years since I completed my own LSP I found as the facilitator I was also re-examining what I learned by witnessing the group’s process and sharing some of my own stories. It is my experience that these discoveries keep coming, even after completion of the LSP. One of the key gifts of the LSP is finding the treasure of childhood joy in activities we may have forgotten we loved to do. Another is to discover patterns of behavior that either support or challenge our goals in life.
Case in point…A few weeks ago I wandered into a fabric store even though I haven’t sewn in over twenty-five years. I learned to sew when I was eleven and made most of my own clothes until I was about twenty-two. I’m not entirely sure why I stopped sewing except with three small children it was hard to find the quiet time. As I wandered through the fabrics I began to envision a queen-sized quilt as a Christmas gift for one of my sons and his partner. The “juice” of this idea sort of overwhelmed me but it compelled me. I have a life-time pattern of getting a creative vision for doing something which I have no idea how to even start. Somehow I learn as I go, though, and I trust that about myself.
I began by asking questions of quilters and fabric salespeople. The people at several fabric stores laughed at me (literally) and told me there was no way I was going to complete the project by Christmas. That made me even more determined (another life-pattern—don’t ever tell me I can’t do something!) and I burned the midnight oil until Christmas Eve and it was finished. It wasn’t perfect, but the seams were mostly straight and my son and his partner were really impressed.
What I discovered was that I LOVE to sew, and I had completely forgotten this about myself! After some wobbly starts (including learning how to use my old sewing machine again) I became more confident and comfortable that I could complete it. I found the project grounding because of the concreteness of making something practical, yet also creatively satisfying. I probably will never be an expert quilter, but this experience felt like it opened a rusty door to a room of joy that I had long ago closed. I am now planning my next quilt for my daughter’s birthday in February!
I also remembered something else about my childhood in creating the quilt: I loved to make stuff, especially as gifts. Sometimes they were successful and other times complete flops, but I didn’t care. It was great fun to create! As a kid I just wanted to have fun making and giving things away (usually making a lot of mess in my wake). When did the inner critic become so sensitive to whether or not there was appreciation for my gifts or even if they were worthy to give? The insight is that creative juice can’t be monitored for “reasonableness”—if it has passion behind it, then do it. Maybe it will work out, maybe not, but it will be an adventure and open up new worlds.
So I ask you…what fun activity door in your childhood longs to be opened in 2012?
Please let me know if you would like more information about participating in the next Life Spiral Process group. Look for the workbook to become more readily available after March.
~Testimonial from Stephanie A.~
“Kirsten is a very gifted writer, creator, and teacher. Her Life Spiral Process™class was wonderful in that it helped me to look back on my life not with fear and trepidation, but as a celebration. It showed me how to look at my life’s patterns and themes from a new perspective. I so enjoyed going through old pictures and talking with relatives about the past as well as really thinking about what I want from my future. Kirsten took time to work with me individually in helping to understand my life’s patterns. She is very patient and insightful.
I love looking at my Life Spiral board that I created and know it will be a piece that is ongoing. It has also been fun to share it with my family and creates another bond about our past and helps them think about their futures, too.
I would highly recommend a person to participate either individually or in a small group in any future Life Spiral Classes that Kirsten offers.”
Using a wire mesh frame (and some patience) I wove a 7 inch mandala with shaggy multi-colored pastel yarn. Then I collected bits of moss and lichen from my walks with the dogs in the woods, and found curly willow branches in the backyard. Using green pastel shaggy yarn I wove those items into the nest with care for their delicacy. (Construction Hint: slightly damp lichen and twigs are more pliable and easier to work with.) I wrote affirmations on handmade paper and sewed them into the interior. Like a crow I added bits of shiny beauty to my nest—bits of iridescent and gold glittery ribbon, pearls, beads, and shells. I dug in my odds-and-ends treasure chest and found a beautiful rose ribbon to add.
Finally I finished the nest with feathers and added some special stone “eggs” to represent issues of deep tenderness (painful and joyful) in my life. I found the project required patience and a light touch as each piece found its niche, and fit organically together. Creating the nest was deeply meditative for me, like a three-dimensional mandala, and I kept circling back to different areas and weaving in a few more twigs or a bit more ribbon to help it find its shape. It reminded me that starting something new requires some structure and form, but also enough elasticity to accommodate modifications and additions.
